tell me, that I'm still asleep...

WTF?

Steven Page has left the Barenaked Ladies?

Could this be the end of one of my favourite bands?

Sadness.

the ignorance is bliss

I so could of used one of these while I was pregnant.

This would have been so much better for my ego.

Thanks Chip Chick!

pah rum pum pum pum...

I'm not a religious person so maybe that's why I find this completely hysterical. Macleans published a column by Scott Feschuk that totally cracked me up. He uses the idea of baby Jesus as a blogger to describe society's current obsession with social media. That's how I see it anyway. Read through the comments on the Macleans website and you'll see that not everyone agrees and some find the article offensive.

Hi! I’m Baby Jesus. Hope you enjoy my blog!

A new batch of shepherds showed up. I’m liveblogging it. 3:22 Bowing. 3:23 Kneeling.

Baby Jesus: the Blog

User Profile: I am the Son of God, the Prince of Peace and the Messiah. I am also good with tools.

Likes: Carpentry, Fish, Hugs

Dislikes: Money-changers, Cruelty, Shaving

What I’m Doing Right Now: Various people are bringing me laud

12/25/0

4:33 a.m. Hi, I’m Baby Jesus. Welcome to my blog! It’s a place where I can write down my feelings about stuff and junk, tell you about what’s going down here in B-hem and keep you up to date on the redeeming of mankind. Enjoy!

4:54 So this is antiquity. Question: are there always this many cows around?

7:22 I don’t know about these swaddling clothes. Swaddling is pretty 10 B.M. (Before Me) if you know what I’m saying. What do you think? Answer my online poll.

10:36 Just spent the last 90 minutes being adored. Next up: an hour, maybe two, of being beheld. Surprisingly fatiguing.

11:51 Man, this is awkward. There’s this kid who’s been playing his drum for me for, like, ever. Which is great and everything, and the ox and lamb seem to be enjoying themselves—but has no one in this town heard of a melody? Maybe if I smile at him he’ll stop.

12:08 p.m. Pah-rum-pum-pum-pum. Oh great, now that’s going to be in my head all day.

1:39 Let’s take a question from the mailbag. Shepherd23987612 asks: “Baby Jesus, will sinners burn in the fires of Hell for all eternity or for a finite period that reflects the severity of their transgressions?” Good question, Shepherd239etc. (Spoiler alert!) Eternity. Remember: I don’t make the rules, I just serve as a physical manifestation of the omnipotent deity who does.

2:12 While it is true there are no limits to my capacity for forgiveness, let’s try to keep things civilized in the comments section, okay? It’s getting out of hand. Kill everyone under the age of 2? That’s real classy, KingHerodRocks.

3:03 Angels. They are beautiful. Truly one of God’s most inspired creations. I just had no idea how much they shed. There are feathers everywhere.

3:08 How’s this sound: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto other others.” Needs work, right? I’ll give it a polish.

3:22 A new batch of shepherds just showed up. I’m going to liveblog it:

• 3:22:08 Bowing.

• 3:23:44 Kneeling.

• 3:25:16 I think I saw a full-on genuflect there.

• 3:26:11 And again with the bowing.

5:46 Frankincense and myrrh?? I guess it’s true what they say—you really can’t have too much aromatic resin.

6:18 Back to the mailbag. Shepherd 123954644 asks: “How would you feel if over the course of many centuries the joyful celebration of the miracle of your virgin birth was slowly but inexorably transformed into an increasingly secular event characterized by binge eating, an insatiable lust for consumer goods and blindly pagan reverence for a mythical, chronically obese, gift-giving hermit?”

Honest answer: I’d be a bit bummed. That said, what’s with all the cynicism? Doesn’t anyone have a question for me about the Good News I bring and the fact that I am both the light and the way?

8:44 I’ve had to turn off this blog’s comments feature—some of the stuff was really getting personal. (Yes, I’m talking to you, JesusSucks.)

I’m sorry about the brightness of the star over my manger—but it’s an essential part of the overall effect. It wouldn’t be much of a “star of wonder” if shepherds had to stand around debating which one it was, would it? Sorry you walked all the way to Sidon because you followed the wrong star, Wise Men, but Almighty God had to respect municipal bylaws relating to light pollution. Jesus!

Oh, great, you’ve made me take me in vain. Thanks a lot.

Also, an important note: while yes, technically speaking, I am responsible for all these shepherds wandering into town, that does not mean I have to cover their bar tabs.

9:17 Just talked to the Holy Father. Asked if there’s a different species I could be redeeming. He’s going to get back to me after he predetermines the outcome of today’s chariot race.

Thanks to my friend Peter for sending this one to me.

your song

All you Canucks out there may have heard about CBC Radio's play list for U.S. President Barack Obama, 49 Songs from North of the 49th Parallel. Canadians were given the chance to vote on which songs would best define Canada to the new president. Well leave it to The Hour to come up with their own spin on things. They compiled a play list for former President George W. Bush. And it is excellent. You can see the full list here. I think it really captures his tenure as president. Here are a few of my favourites.

American Idiot - Green Day
2 + 2 = 5 - Radiohead
Psycho Killer - Talking Heads
Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta - Ghetto Boys
Thank God I'm A Country Boy - John Denver
War Pigs - Black Sabbath
The Man Who Sold The World - David Bowie
When The Levee Breaks - Led Zeppelin

always buzzing just like...

I have no idea how I missed it but back in July, John Mayer released a double CD set of live tracks. Before you start judging me, yes, I am a huge John Mayer fan. The man is a brilliant musician. His guitar playing is virtuosic and his song writing inspired. People seem perplexed when I say that I really like the guy. I guess that's because I don't listen to a lot of "artists" who are currently played on mainstream radio. But John Mayer actually knows what he is doing, not like most of the ass clowns who make the charts. But I digress.

Where The Light Is, available in both audio and video formats, is a collection of Mayer's tunes performed in 3 distinct sets: an acoustic set that includes an excellent version of Tom Petty's Free Falling; a trio set featuring two of the most brilliant musicians currently walking the earth, bassist Pino Palladino and drummer Steve Jordan; and a band set, including his regular band line up. This recording further demonstrates what a talented and versatile musician this guy is and gets my highest recommendation.

baby I love you

As you may have suspected from the absence of posts, Em has arrived.

Blogworld, meet Alex.



He arrived on January 3 at 5:46am and has been rockin' our world ever since. I'm in the process of deciding on if I am going to post about his birth story or not as it was a bit of an ordeal. In the meantime, I've got some sleep to catch up on.

reflections of a life you once lived...

2008 has been quite the year for us. At times heart-breakingly difficult and at other times joyously happy. I look forward to 2009, knowing that it will be a very different year for me, with new and exciting challenges. Here's hoping you that you and yours have a fantastic 2009!

what a difference a day makes...

Well it's been quite a day.

I had my weekly checkup with the obstetrician today. My blood pressure was a little high so she decided to send me to the hospital for further tests as a precaution. She assured me that she thought everything was fine with Em and me but she would rather that I have some tests done just to be certain. I think I managed to remain calm until I left her office but then panic set in. The 3 minute drive from her office to the hospital felt like 3 hours. I called Steve to let him know what was going on and tried to sound as relaxed as possible so as not to frighten him. I reported to hospital admitting as instructed and they had my chart ready to go, since my doctor had already called over to let them know I was coming and what she wanted done. From there I headed to the labour and delivery ward, where I met Casey, the nurse who would take care of me. She was awesome from the get go. She got me settled in a room, explained that they would take blood and urine samples, take my blood pressure again and hook me up to a fetal monitor. Her demeanor really helped to calm me down and push all the horrible "OMG there's something wrong with my baby" thoughts out of my head. I was hooked up to the monitor for about half an hour and Em performed brilliantly. (Yeah, Em!) She took my blood pressure twice during this time and it was normal. All I had to do know was wait for the results from the blood and urine tests. Luckily, there was TV in the room to keep me occupied. I started to doze off, likely because I had only slept about 4 hours the night before, and Casey came back in with a lunch tray. She said they had an extra tray and thought that I might be hungry. I could have hugged her. I was ravenous, but didn't even realize it from the combination of exhaustion and panic I was feeling up until this point. Casey informed me that they were just waiting on a few more results but everything looked really good so far. Once all of the results were in, she talked to my doctor and both agreed I was good to go. The whole process took about 2 hours, which is exactly what my doctor told me to expect when I left her office.

I realize that what I went through was a very minor bump in my pregnancy experience. I've been lucky to have a relatively easy pregnancy with no major concerns along the way. This experience only further reminded me of how lucky I have been. I'm not sure how women with high risk pregnancies cope. I guess you just do what you have to do. I'm just thankful that Casey was so awesome during the whole thing. It gives me confidence that we will be in good hands when the time comes for Em to emerge.

like a bowl full of jelly

For the morbidly curious, here's how I'm looking these days, at approximately 38.5 weeks pregnant.


Seriously, I should be renting myself out to play Santa Claus at Christmas parties!

'tis the season...

It's hard to believe that I've already been off work for a week and a half. Between preparing for the arrival of Em, Christmas and ongoing home renovations that we're trying to get done before the 25th, time has really flown by. I was just starting to get stressed about it all last night when there was knock at the front door. Before I could waddle my way over to open it, I heard a chorus of young girls singing Christmas carols. I opened the door to find a group of about 8 girls ranging in age from 8 to 14 gleefully serenading me. And they were good! I don't know who they were but they all seemed to have the same logo somewhere on there clothes that had the words "dance" and "academy" in it. They were collecting donations for the food bank and as I gathered a few cans from the pantry they continued to sing. It was a reminder of what this holiday season really should be all about. So today, as I finish my shopping and run all of my various errands, even though the malls will be crowded with cranky last minute shoppers, I will think of my happy carolers and smile.

writing on the wall

I spotted this at the corner of Bloor and Bedford in Toronto on Thursday. Totally cracked me up.

hello, hello...

I am so thankful that the labour and delivery ward at my local hospital does not look like this.


There is actually a hospital in Taiwan that features a Hello Kitty themed maternity ward. Seriously. And it's not just the rooms. The staff are actually dressed in pink Hello Kitty garb. The nursery is adorned in Hello Kitty decor. It's all Hello Kitty, all the time. I have nothing against Hello Kitty personally but would I want to give birth surrounded by all of this pink cuteness? Definitely not.